Back to reality

Well, I have to first say that this post might get long, but bare with me!

First of all, I am back in the hospital. Came in last night around 2am. For those of you who have seen me walking around probably doing too much, not to worry the thought did go through my head that maybe that is why I am here again. HOWEVER, they keep reassuring me that my activity level did not cause the bleeding, however what is most likely is that as the baby grows more strain and pressure is put on the uterus and placenta causing the bleeding.

Anyway, thank goodness that Catie and Michael live so close because they have really been lifesavers with this pregnancy. I had my 3rd bout of bleeding, so Chris and I came back to Labor & Delivery. When I got here they determined that I was not having an active bleed (meaning that I was not continuously bleeding), which is a very good thing. An active bleed would probably mean that Henry and this little guy would have had their birthdays one day apart (Henry's birthday was yesterday for those that didn't know). My vitals are all very good, good blood pressure, heart rate and blood count (meaning my body is handling blood loss well).

I have been having more contractions, and for me any contractions are a very bad thing because it disrupts the uterus and the placenta, which is in a very delicate position. The contractions and cramping has subsided and for the most part I am not bleeding much anymore -thank goodness!

The baby looks great (got to see him in an ultrasound), getting big enough that it is hard to get good profile or body shots - we can only see small parts at a time. His feet and hands are adorable. He is head down and appears to be using the placenta as a pillow. His position doesn't matter much except that when I do have my c-section they can get him out faster and easier if he is in the head down position.

I actually asked my Dr. about how they get around the placenta since it is basically covering up where my old incision was. For those that know anything about the placenta, it is the lifeline for the baby and as soon as the placenta is cut into the baby is in danger. Anyway, he simply said, we make the incision right through the placenta and get the baby out FAST! Once the baby is out they will work on me because the placenta will be harder to get out because of its position.

So what's next. I guess Dr. Feldstein is consulting with the high risk OB to make a decision as to whether or not I am here for the long haul and to discuss when it might make sense to deliver the baby. Obviously hitting the 34 week target is optimal!

As far as me, I am ok but quite honestly very sad to leave Henry and Chris. I also have a certain amount of guilt I guess when it comes to leaving Chris to do everything while I sit on my butt and just "be pregnant". When your 3 year old looks at you and says "mommy will you stay with me for a long time" or "mommy please don't go back to the hospital" or even just simply stops what he is doing to give me a big hug and say "I love you"... trust me it is absolutely heartbreaking to leave him! I know I can get through this but it breaks my heart that I have to hurt him this way. I know, he probably won't remember much of this when he is older, BUT he gets it now and it has been really upsetting to him. He will get through it and so will I... it just kind of stinks!

Signing off for now... will update when I know more!